#I’ve been thinking ‘bout this for months lol 😭

[your-unfriendlyghost]

Oh yeah thanks! Srry I didn’t remember where I got this version of it 💀

(Rough) Steve n Pony study

based on this pic from…the Outsiders auditions I think? Don’t quote me on that lol

I saw this pic like half a year ago and wanted to draw it, but ig I didn’t get around to it till now lol. So yeah

I could definitely change things to make the drawing more accurate, but eh I’m bored so just don’t look hard at Steve’s hand

[ohmtoff]

could i request a fic of reader and nick having a friends with benefits type of relationship, reader is in love with nick but doesn’t realise nick is in love with reader too so they have a mutual pining situation?

Mutually Exclusive

Summary: You can’t handle being just friends with benefits with Nick, not when you’re in love with him.

WC: 1.6k

Contains: angst, pining, misunderstandings, friends with benefits (or is it?)

a/n: heyyy!! so sorry for taking so long to write this😭 hope it’s okay that i didnt write any smut even though it’s a FWB prompt lol i just wasnt feeling to write smut sorryyy anon. hope you like ittt <3

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Your head was pillowed on Nick’s chest, your fingers skimming over Nick’s soft stomach, occasionally trailing it across his chest hair which makes him giggle, and you were trying to figure out how to tell him you’d been asked on a date. Nick was running his fingers through your hair, occasionally placing a soft kiss to your temple, and your head is racking on how to explain that this will be the last time you will ever be in bed with him. You both had just finished a particularly sweet bout of intimacy, you felt utterless boneless, and you needed to somehow tell Nick you couldn’t keep doing this.

When you had first met Nick — at a party thrown by Larray — you’d immediately been drawn to him. How could you not be; Nick was cute and soft, so handsome in a way that still somehow felt comfortable and approachable. Eyes so blue and piercing that your heart immediately fluttered at the first eye contact. And Nick had apparently been drawn to you as well, at least that was the impression you got when you both ended up making out in the corner of the party a mere hour later.

After that first time, you both just kept… hooking up. Initially, it was only at parties, both gravitating towards each other and ending the night entangled in some way. Soon, after Nick had insisted you and him exchange numbers, it morphed into scheduled hook-ups, no pretense of a party required. And then you both started hanging out afterwards, trying a new restaurant or watching a movie or just talking. You’d catch meals together and facetime each other before going to sleep.

You weren’t sure when you both transitioned from random strangers hooking up to hook-ups who occasionally hang out to inseparable friends who also happen to hook up with each other, but you didn’t want to question it. Nick was maybe the best thing to ever happen to you, and you weren’t about to complicate that with logistics.

A finger ran over your face, smoothing out the wrinkle that had appeared between your eyes, snapping you out of your thoughts and into the present. “What’s got you so stressed?”

I thought I was okay with us just being friends with benefits but someone else asked me out and I’ve realised that I don’t want to go out with someone who isn’t you but that’s not what this is and I don’t know what to do about it because this isn’t enough but I don’t want anyone else.

“Mm, nothing.” You nuzzled into Nick’s chest.

“I know you. You don’t get that little crinkle between your eyes unless you got something on your mind.” Nick kissed the area in question, featherlight and soft.

“You know that guy, Curtis?” You focused on the tattoo of Nick’s arm, smoothing over them lightly, marveling at the goosebumps he left in his wake.

“Um, I think? That one guy that’s stalking you?” Nick chuckled, and the vibrations in his chest shook you just a bit. Just enough to remind you how physically close you and him were in that moment, as if neither boy existed without the other. Something panged near your heart.

“He’s not… He’s not stalking me.”

“Oh, so he just happens to appear everywhere you are? I don’t think we’ve gone anywhere in the last month without him ‘randomly’ showing up. He’s obsessed with you.” Nick pushed back your hair from your forehead and kissed you there. “Can’t say I blame him, though.”

Your chest ached. You weren’t sure when you’d fallen in love with Nick, but you were now firmly in the throes of it and every delicate gesture from Nick, every word of affection, every tiny touch, twisted something deep in your stomach. When Nick held you like this, naked and sated and warm, and looked at you with those adoring eyes, touched you like you mattered, You found it almost impossible to hold back all that you was feeling.

“You obsessed with me, Nicolas?” You hoped the joke would defuse some of the tension, maybe make Nick believe you too could be cool and casual about all of this.

“Yeah,” Nick whispered before cupping your face like you were something precious and pulling you into a kiss, small and slow and perfect.

You wanted to cry.

You needed a moment to gather yourself after Nick pulled back, eyes closed and lips still puckered.

“What did Curtis do?” Nick’s fingers returned to your hair.

“He, uh, he…” You thought it may be less painful to pluck out his own eyelashes than continue. “He asked me out.”

You hadn’t known how you thought Nick would react, but laughter had not been anywhere on your list. But Nick did just that, laughing boisterously, shaking them both. “Oh, wow. Poor Curtis.”

Poor Curtis. What did that mean?!

You frowned and sat up, needing to somehow find a way to put space between yourself and Nick. You turned to face the wall and crossed your arms, fighting back tears.

“You don’t have to be cruel, Nick.”

“What?” Nick sat up too, placing a tentative hand on your shoulder, which you shrugged off. “I just meant—”

“I know what you meant!” You looked down, concentrating on Nick’s white sheets. “Just because you don’t want to date me doesn’t mean no one else does.”

“What?! What are you talking about?!” Nick almost sounded angry, as if you were the one mocking him.

“People can like me, Nick! People can find me attractive and compelling and worthwhile.” Tears formed in the corners of your eyes.

“Babe, I know that—”

“So why did you laugh? Why did you pity Curtis for liking me?”

“What are you talking about?!” Nick sounded on the verge of tears as well, which finally made you turn to look at him.

His face was flushed red, his eyes glassy and wet, and he almost looked scared, as though your words were wounding him somehow.

“I’m worth someone liking me like that. I deserve that.” Some of your resolve was slipping at Nick’s expression, but you still managed to choke out a self-defense.

“I know that. You think I don’t know that?!” A tear slid down Nick’s cheek.

“You don’t get to cry, Nick. You’re the one insulting me.”

Another tear fell down Nick’s perfect face, splotchy and red, but still perfect. “I don’t get to cry when my boyfriend seems to be trying to break up with me by accusing me of not liking him and talking about another guy asking him out?”

“Wh–what?”

“I’m gonna cry over that, baby.” Nick’s voice was thick, his face now covered in a steady stream of tears. “I’m gonna cry over you breaking my heart.”

“Boyfriend?”

“Don’t make fun of me.”

“You have a boyfriend?” Since when did Nick have a boyfriend?

“Apparently I don’t anymore.” Nick’s voice caught at the end, a sob escaping his mouth.

“I— I’m your boyfriend?” Were you an idiot? Had you been dating Nick this whole time? You reached out to grab Nick’s face, wiping tears with the pads of your thumbs. “Nick. I am genuinely asking you: am I your boyfriend?”

Nick gaped at you. “I— yes? I thought so.”

You floundered for a moment, surveying Nick’s face for any sign of insincerity. Instead, all you found was wide-eyed hope. In lieu of any verbal response, you pulled Nick’s face to your own, kissing him with all you had, all the twisted aches in your stomach, all the blind hopes in your heart. You guided Nick back down, settling on top of him as your kiss deepened. The only thing you could think was NickNickNick.

“Mm.” Nick lightly pushed you back, separating your lips so he could talk. “You really didn’t know?”

“You never said anything. I don’t even know if you liked me like that, I thought we were just… hooking up.”

Nick stroked a thumb over your bottom lip, blowing a soft breath of laughter out of his nose. “Baby, I’m almost embarrassingly in love with you.”

“I didn’t know. You never… I didn’t know.”

“I guess I could have been clearer. But I thought when we started actually going on dates…” Nick trailed off, cheeks flushing.

You groaned and dropped your forehead to his chest. “You know damn well people now go on dates and have sex casually. How was I supposed to know we were serious? I thought we were friends who hung out all the time and then had sex.”

“Yeah, my love, that’s what dating is.” A beautiful laugh bubbled out of Nick, a bit watery from his crying, but still so lovely and bright.

“Okay, well, that makes it a lot easier to turn Curtis down.”

“I may not like that he went after my boyfriend, but without him, you may have just assumed we were platonic best friends who kiss for the rest of our lives. Our grandchildren gather round to hear our love story and you’re like ‘he’s just my friend, he doesn’t like me like that.’”

You raised your head and grinned wickedly. “Grandchildren?”

Nick smiled back, soft and glowing. “Oh yeah, we’re ride or die besties. May as well go in on one headstone, purely for financial purposes. And one last name too. Again, for financial purposes.”

“You proposing?” Just joking about it made your stomach do several backflips.

“Nah, not yet. We have to at least buy our own house first.”

You chuckled. “Hey.”

“Hm?”

“I’m embarrassingly in love with you too.”

You settled back onto Nick’s chest, resuming your skimming of his stomach, listening intently to Nick’s heart race. Despite having been in this exact position ten minutes prior, you felt lighter now, none of the trepidation and insecurity remaining.

Nick wanted you — loved you — as so much more than a friend with benefits, and you had never been happier.

[user1286]

Ok. Oh my god. I. I just realized something. I don’t think I ever updated on why I suddenly stopped posting for a while. UH. I basically made this big old post explaining everything and. I genuinely thought I posted it. Turns out, It’s been in my drafts for MONTHS. I NEVER POSTED MY APOLOGY AND EXPLANATION. UH I’m just gonna make this quick atp, bc I feel so bad, bc I KNOW there are people who were pr interested in my Gods of Disappointment fic, and then I just ghosted you. Uhhhh if you have no clue what I’m talking abt, and are not interested, feel free to not care lol, but for those who do, feel free to continue :3

First of all, I am so sorry for literally just disappearing on that. It’s not that I lost my passion and hyperfixation on it, in fact, I’d say it’s EXPANDED in a way I never even thought it would. But it’s just more so, I actually lost like, my confidence in my writing, bc the 4th chapter came out so bad, and I wanted to rewrite it, but I kept messing it up so many times and just. Omg. And now, the thing is, I’ve found a way write it out better, it’s just, I ended up wanting to write an actual story with this and not just a fan fic, like good god, my perfectionism has never been this bad.

REGARDLESS. I really do want to explain my idea of this story, bc I have SO MUCH MOAR TO SHOW. I’m just bad at it in like storytelling 😭😭😭 So I have an idea, and I’d like some input if u big old sillybillies don’t mind :3

What if I just made infodump posts where I’d update old ideas, and like show everything up until the end of the story, and just continue on with my other ideas for the aftermath (it’s developed so fucking much, u guys have NO clue, my autism and adhd have gone off the RAILS with this hyperfixation😭), and IF I manage to get the time(bc of school, they like to kick my ass), confidence in writing, and actually develop my skills, I’ll actually write out the fic, and the new chapter when I actually manage to not be a shy little bitch.

ONCE AGAIN, I am SO sorry for literally vanishing😭

[bbael]

hiii 🖤 i missed u,,, I’ve wanted pop by and say hello for so long now and always think of you <3 but i have been generally dead to the world for a little while now sdjsdjsdj im fine tho !! but life has just been beating my ass fr these last couple months 💀

anywho !! here i am using my last ounce of energy to lovingly scribe you a message, written in my own fair blood of course, on an ancient parchment,,, but the little bat i paid (in beetles) to deliver you my letter got lost; so im forced to type my message to u here instead, which will have to do 🙄 (sillyness)

but how have u been dearie!! i myself have not been up to much during my expiring, but the sun has started to come out again, and the bluebells where i live have started to bloom, and my pet doggy is loving to sunbathe, so those things are good. i saw a concert too the other month and have another booked for next year ! and am contemplating booking einstürzende neubaten for later this year, but i genuinely have nobody to go with that could stand it 😭

as always and forever, love u lots, and hope you have been well,, i feel so bad for not messaging for so long now, but please know i have thought of you every day 🖤 sending many of hugs, & till later my dear !! 🖤

Hiii oh my god, getting this ask a couple weeks(?) ago was such a relief hon because I was starting to think you were actually dead, like not even kidding I was concerned 😭 so good to hear that at the very least u lived and are well enough to make it to here my humble ask box.....

Literally praying for the bat bc girl is he okay :((

But I'm glad over your side of the world things are getting warmer, I yearn for the sun as much as your doggy might tbh :(. (Puppy sunbathing is such a wonderful visual too omg...)

Hope you're spending lots of time outside and making the most of it! Here's cooling down pretty fast and I'm shivering 24/7, I hate it and hate being bundled up in 500 layers >_<.

I can't believe you have the chance to see EN this year omg... I would so go with you 🥹🖤 ur hanging out with the wrong ppl hon..... I hope u can still go though, live my dream please~

& how are you now?? You still half-dead and busy or already doing better? 🥺 I need more updates, felt like forever truly..

My life has not been super exciting either....

Idk if i got to tell you about my latest development which was that a while ago I started working as a prof, finally. Had it coming for years but felt so damn unprepared.... it's been embarrassingly easy though, I'm very happy with how things turned out and just getting 2 hours here, 1 hour there at different schools for very short term periods while I keep my half-time on the place I was already working at 🥹 sounds busy as hell but it might be the most free time I've had in years lol.

I'm sorry if I already told you that btw, can't remember at all and I must sound like a broken record if I did ahhh

I'll also be moving couple provinces away soon which is,,, amazing...unbelievable even! But I'll update on that as it happens bc I really am too anxious to even think bout it atm lmao

Anyhow,, I really really I'm so unbelievable glad to read from you my dear 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 you have no idea,, I was sending my little moths to find you 😔💔🥀 holding u in my arms tightly so I don't lose sight of u as easily omg.

Really hoping things are well over there and that you are having a much easier time now ;w; sending literally all my love like leaving none for nobody else, mwah 🫀